1 00:00:00,870 --> 00:00:02,146 - hot in cleveland is recorded 2 00:00:02,170 --> 00:00:03,882 In front of a live Studio audience. 3 00:00:03,906 --> 00:00:06,117 - mel, your taxi's here! 4 00:00:06,141 --> 00:00:07,919 - okay, coming. 5 00:00:07,943 --> 00:00:09,654 Oh, puppy tails! 6 00:00:09,678 --> 00:00:12,257 - please, language. 7 00:00:12,281 --> 00:00:13,791 Is that what you're Wearing on the plane? 8 00:00:13,815 --> 00:00:16,661 - mm. Someone's looking to Get bumped to first class. 9 00:00:16,685 --> 00:00:18,262 - no, as soon as I Get to new york 10 00:00:18,286 --> 00:00:19,898 I have to rush Straight to jenna's play. 11 00:00:19,922 --> 00:00:21,365 I'm not gonna have Time to change. 12 00:00:21,389 --> 00:00:23,629 - that's a lot of boobage For your daughter's play. 13 00:00:24,927 --> 00:00:28,662 - nice girls keep Their cookies in a jar. 14 00:00:32,234 --> 00:00:33,578 - yes, I know, 15 00:00:33,602 --> 00:00:35,680 But jenna set me up with One of her friend's fathers, 16 00:00:35,704 --> 00:00:37,282 And we're going Out to dinner after. 17 00:00:37,306 --> 00:00:39,784 - oh, in that case, chips ahoy! 18 00:00:39,808 --> 00:00:42,743 - bye. - have a safe flight. 19 00:00:45,714 --> 00:00:48,093 Oh, what did she forget now? 20 00:00:48,117 --> 00:00:49,527 - hello. - hello. 21 00:00:49,551 --> 00:00:50,762 - uh, is elka here? 22 00:00:50,786 --> 00:00:52,396 - nick? 23 00:00:52,420 --> 00:00:54,366 Oh, hi. 24 00:00:54,390 --> 00:00:56,201 I believe you left this behind 25 00:00:56,225 --> 00:00:58,536 At the dance, princess. 26 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,706 - well, I had to rush off When the clock struck 9:00. 27 00:01:01,730 --> 00:01:04,008 - yeah, well... 28 00:01:04,032 --> 00:01:06,410 Could we talk? 29 00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:09,214 - oh, sure. I'll be right out. 30 00:01:09,238 --> 00:01:13,451 - oh, well, it's a Little cold and damp... 31 00:01:13,475 --> 00:01:15,020 - what's going on here? 32 00:01:15,044 --> 00:01:16,988 I thought you went to the Dance with max last night. 33 00:01:17,012 --> 00:01:18,423 - I did. 34 00:01:18,447 --> 00:01:20,425 But then nick asked me to dance, 35 00:01:20,449 --> 00:01:22,593 And one thing led to another. 36 00:01:22,617 --> 00:01:24,262 - you cheated on max? 37 00:01:24,286 --> 00:01:26,664 - twice. 38 00:01:26,688 --> 00:01:30,769 First a waltz, and then a polka. 39 00:01:30,793 --> 00:01:32,170 - that's it? You danced? 40 00:01:32,194 --> 00:01:34,305 - a polka! 41 00:01:34,329 --> 00:01:38,676 The polish forbidden Dance of love. 42 00:01:38,700 --> 00:01:39,977 I'm gonna go out there 43 00:01:40,001 --> 00:01:42,280 And tell him it was just One of those things. 44 00:01:42,304 --> 00:01:45,650 No. No swinging. 45 00:01:45,674 --> 00:01:47,519 - oh, you're not a swinger? 46 00:01:47,543 --> 00:01:50,454 - I feel guilty enough already. 47 00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:54,158 I had fun last night But I'm engaged to max. 48 00:01:54,182 --> 00:01:56,427 - yeah, max is my Friend too, you know. 49 00:01:56,451 --> 00:01:59,063 But last night, when We were dancing, 50 00:01:59,087 --> 00:02:02,534 You can't deny you felt a spark. 51 00:02:02,558 --> 00:02:06,437 - well, orthopedic Shoes on soft carpet... 52 00:02:06,461 --> 00:02:10,575 - ♪ I wanna polka, I wanna polka ♪ 53 00:02:10,599 --> 00:02:12,277 - ♪ I wanna polka ♪ 54 00:02:12,301 --> 00:02:15,680 Oh, no! It's happening again! 55 00:02:15,704 --> 00:02:18,250 - let's get naked. 56 00:02:18,274 --> 00:02:19,918 - oh, stop it. 57 00:02:19,942 --> 00:02:21,652 - all right, you Win. I'm gonna go. 58 00:02:21,676 --> 00:02:23,888 But I'm not giving up. 59 00:02:23,912 --> 00:02:27,859 'cause faint heart Never won fair maiden. 60 00:02:29,651 --> 00:02:31,796 Oh, boy! There's my pacemaker. 61 00:02:33,522 --> 00:02:35,522 Probably telling me I'm overstimulated. 62 00:02:47,035 --> 00:02:48,746 - oh, baby. Jenna, You were brilliant! 63 00:02:48,770 --> 00:02:50,214 - I got applause! 64 00:02:50,238 --> 00:02:51,615 I did, right? 65 00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:53,351 I mean, it wasn't just you Clapping like a maniac? 66 00:02:53,375 --> 00:02:54,619 - hey, I wasn't even clapping. 67 00:02:54,643 --> 00:02:57,088 I was too busy yelling, "That's my daughter!" 68 00:02:57,112 --> 00:02:59,224 Weird, I thought I heard Some man yelling it too. 69 00:02:59,248 --> 00:03:00,324 - I did too. 70 00:03:00,348 --> 00:03:01,826 But dad said he couldn't make it 71 00:03:01,850 --> 00:03:03,561 Because kim had A yoga emergency. 72 00:03:03,585 --> 00:03:05,596 - yeah, well... Both: Whatever that is. 73 00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:06,931 - and frankly, I'm glad. 74 00:03:06,955 --> 00:03:08,199 Because I'm not quite prepared 75 00:03:08,223 --> 00:03:09,400 To run into your Father right now. 76 00:03:09,424 --> 00:03:11,903 - well, then this is awkward. 77 00:03:11,927 --> 00:03:14,506 - hello, anders. 78 00:03:14,530 --> 00:03:16,074 - thank you. 79 00:03:16,098 --> 00:03:17,609 - who are they for? 80 00:03:17,633 --> 00:03:19,010 - there's no name. 81 00:03:19,034 --> 00:03:21,969 Probably from my stalker. 82 00:03:23,472 --> 00:03:28,119 - I see he got your Change of address card. 83 00:03:28,143 --> 00:03:31,077 - "To the girl with more curves Than the medina freeway." 84 00:03:33,048 --> 00:03:36,227 - they're for me. 85 00:03:36,251 --> 00:03:38,396 From nick. He's the poet. 86 00:03:38,420 --> 00:03:40,064 - that's poetry? 87 00:03:40,088 --> 00:03:43,022 - what does it say On your flowers? 88 00:03:45,260 --> 00:03:48,739 - so nick is not gonna Take no for an answer, huh? 89 00:03:48,763 --> 00:03:50,542 - no. 90 00:03:50,566 --> 00:03:54,245 I've never been in A triangle before. 91 00:03:54,269 --> 00:03:57,204 You girls are slutty, What would you do? 92 00:04:01,910 --> 00:04:05,256 - geometry's more Victoria's specialty. 93 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:07,091 She's been in Triangles, squares. 94 00:04:07,115 --> 00:04:09,760 - yeah, I was almost in A hexagon once, but... 95 00:04:09,784 --> 00:04:12,185 At the last minute, the Twins dropped out, so. 96 00:04:13,856 --> 00:04:16,334 - hi. - hey, how did it go? 97 00:04:16,358 --> 00:04:19,571 - well, jenna rocked, And anders and I made out. 98 00:04:19,595 --> 00:04:22,306 - see, slutty. 99 00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:23,741 - anders was there? 100 00:04:23,765 --> 00:04:25,309 - you kissed anders? 101 00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:27,611 - how did this happen And where was kim? 102 00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:30,048 - oh, kim didn't show, and My date never happened. 103 00:04:30,072 --> 00:04:31,950 And then anders and I Took jenna out to dinner, 104 00:04:31,974 --> 00:04:33,851 And then we met up For drinks afterwards, 105 00:04:33,875 --> 00:04:36,253 And before I knew it all These little, old feelings 106 00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:38,823 Snuck up on me and Just blindsided me. 107 00:04:38,847 --> 00:04:41,759 - bloody feelings, Spoil everything. 108 00:04:41,783 --> 00:04:43,194 - I know this sounds crazy, 109 00:04:43,218 --> 00:04:44,729 But you know those Dumb romantic comedies 110 00:04:44,753 --> 00:04:46,130 That I love so much? 111 00:04:46,154 --> 00:04:47,598 Well, I felt like I was In the middle of one. 112 00:04:47,622 --> 00:04:49,567 I could just hear The announcer... 113 00:04:49,591 --> 00:04:51,335 "Sometimes the one You're looking for 114 00:04:51,359 --> 00:04:54,539 Is the one that was There all along." 115 00:04:54,563 --> 00:04:57,497 - "Only the biggest hearts Can love more than one." 116 00:05:02,071 --> 00:05:04,315 - "She mastered The craft of acting, 117 00:05:04,339 --> 00:05:07,274 And then the art of loving." 118 00:05:10,912 --> 00:05:14,258 - I'm ashamed to be a woman. 119 00:05:14,282 --> 00:05:15,994 - listen, fooling Around with exes 120 00:05:16,018 --> 00:05:18,429 Is a perfectly natural And often beautiful part 121 00:05:18,453 --> 00:05:19,497 Of every relationship. 122 00:05:19,521 --> 00:05:22,033 I've slept with all of mine. 123 00:05:22,057 --> 00:05:24,235 - even the gay one? - yes. 124 00:05:24,259 --> 00:05:27,238 He was questioning his Questioning of his sexuality. 125 00:05:27,262 --> 00:05:29,240 But as soon as We hit the sheets, 126 00:05:29,264 --> 00:05:31,309 We got into a discussion About thread count, 127 00:05:31,333 --> 00:05:33,566 And well, game over. 128 00:05:36,772 --> 00:05:39,584 - melanie, what have I told You about romantic movies? 129 00:05:39,608 --> 00:05:41,652 - that they're never as Good as their trailers. 130 00:05:41,676 --> 00:05:43,588 - yes, and that they have Nothing to do with real life. 131 00:05:43,612 --> 00:05:46,857 It was one makeout session, It's over, forget about him. 132 00:05:48,216 --> 00:05:51,930 - it's anders. "I need To see you again." 133 00:05:51,954 --> 00:05:53,465 - write back "No." 134 00:05:53,489 --> 00:05:56,055 And put one of those frowny Faces with the angry eyes. 135 00:05:57,425 --> 00:06:00,671 - I'm texting him Back, "I'm not sure." 136 00:06:00,695 --> 00:06:04,175 I'm gonna have to Think about this. 137 00:06:04,199 --> 00:06:07,678 - "While I'm waiting, can I use your bathroom?" 138 00:06:14,009 --> 00:06:15,486 - anders, this is crazy. 139 00:06:15,510 --> 00:06:17,021 You're engaged to kim. 140 00:06:17,045 --> 00:06:19,624 - well, truth is, we've Been having some problems. 141 00:06:19,648 --> 00:06:23,928 - ha! Typical. 142 00:06:23,952 --> 00:06:26,030 He breaks up with his bimbo, 143 00:06:26,054 --> 00:06:27,231 Then comes running Back to melanie. 144 00:06:27,255 --> 00:06:29,267 That's just morally wrong. 145 00:06:29,291 --> 00:06:31,469 I say we kill him. 146 00:06:31,493 --> 00:06:33,370 - we can't do anything now. 147 00:06:33,394 --> 00:06:35,473 I mean, we're in Girlfriend purgatory. 148 00:06:35,497 --> 00:06:37,141 If we tell her to dump him 149 00:06:37,165 --> 00:06:38,676 And they end up Getting remarried, 150 00:06:38,700 --> 00:06:40,044 Then we're screwed. 151 00:06:40,068 --> 00:06:41,245 But if we don't say anything 152 00:06:41,269 --> 00:06:42,480 And he ends up Breaking her heart again, 153 00:06:42,504 --> 00:06:43,581 We're screwed. 154 00:06:43,605 --> 00:06:46,384 God. 155 00:06:46,408 --> 00:06:48,119 - I miss you, melanie. And I miss us. 156 00:06:48,143 --> 00:06:52,656 - well, there are times That, you know, I miss you too. 157 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:56,727 But... 158 00:06:56,751 --> 00:06:57,828 Oh, okay. 159 00:06:57,852 --> 00:06:59,263 One dinner wouldn't hurt, right? 160 00:06:59,287 --> 00:07:01,899 - we're screwed. 161 00:07:01,923 --> 00:07:04,935 - screwed, stewed, and tattooed. 162 00:07:04,959 --> 00:07:06,971 That's from a Tennessee william's play. 163 00:07:06,995 --> 00:07:10,074 I played esmeralda In summer stock. 164 00:07:10,098 --> 00:07:11,842 - you know, I didn't think 165 00:07:11,866 --> 00:07:13,944 You'd be able to make This about yourself. 166 00:07:13,968 --> 00:07:15,568 I underestimated you. 167 00:07:21,976 --> 00:07:23,153 - oh, joy. 168 00:07:23,177 --> 00:07:24,755 I just had the scare of my life. 169 00:07:24,779 --> 00:07:29,093 - did you get dressed under Overhead lighting again? 170 00:07:29,117 --> 00:07:30,561 - yes, and I'm thinking about 171 00:07:30,585 --> 00:07:33,898 Getting the plans out Again for victoria 2.0. 172 00:07:33,922 --> 00:07:38,636 And I need you to either Talk me into it or out of it. 173 00:07:38,660 --> 00:07:41,639 - no sag, visible ribbage, mm. 174 00:07:41,663 --> 00:07:44,975 - hey, people eat in here! 175 00:07:44,999 --> 00:07:47,345 - don't you have a House of your own? 176 00:07:47,369 --> 00:07:50,381 - I need advice. 177 00:07:50,405 --> 00:07:54,185 Both max and nick Have invited me 178 00:07:54,209 --> 00:07:56,520 To the senior Center luau tonight. 179 00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:58,155 - what time is the luau? 180 00:07:58,179 --> 00:08:00,157 - dinnertime. 181 00:08:00,181 --> 00:08:03,161 4:30. 182 00:08:03,185 --> 00:08:05,129 - so go to the luau with one, 183 00:08:05,153 --> 00:08:07,865 And meet the other After for a nightcap. 184 00:08:07,889 --> 00:08:10,568 - thank you, I'll stay home. 185 00:08:10,592 --> 00:08:12,903 - yeah, but that's the Opposite of what I said. 186 00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:15,128 - I know. I've seen Your love life. 187 00:08:18,834 --> 00:08:20,344 - oh, sugar foot! 188 00:08:20,368 --> 00:08:22,012 I always trip on That gosh darn step. 189 00:08:22,036 --> 00:08:26,083 - ugh, it's like a Mamet play in here. 190 00:08:26,107 --> 00:08:27,251 - okay, I need your help. 191 00:08:27,275 --> 00:08:28,820 Do you guys think mirabella's 192 00:08:28,844 --> 00:08:30,922 Is too romantic a place For a lunch with anders? 193 00:08:30,946 --> 00:08:33,557 - why is everyone always Asking us for romantic advice? 194 00:08:33,581 --> 00:08:36,427 - yeah, since when did we Become the gay best friend? 195 00:08:36,451 --> 00:08:40,064 - you guys gotta help Me, I'm so confused. 196 00:08:40,088 --> 00:08:43,734 On the one hand, it took me a Long time to get over anders. 197 00:08:43,758 --> 00:08:45,503 - well, then cancel lunch. 198 00:08:45,527 --> 00:08:46,804 - but on the other hand, 199 00:08:46,828 --> 00:08:48,940 I've always dreamed He'd come crawling back. 200 00:08:48,964 --> 00:08:50,275 - then go. 201 00:08:50,299 --> 00:08:52,443 They make a delicious Chocolate mousse for two. 202 00:08:52,467 --> 00:08:53,844 It's probably even better 203 00:08:53,868 --> 00:08:55,828 If you have someone To share it with. 204 00:08:58,039 --> 00:08:59,550 - you're sending mixed messages. 205 00:08:59,574 --> 00:09:01,619 - we're just staying Wisely neutral. 206 00:09:01,643 --> 00:09:04,421 - please, just give me Something, anything! 207 00:09:04,445 --> 00:09:06,857 - okay, whenever I'm considering Getting back with an ex, 208 00:09:06,881 --> 00:09:09,293 I always try on the Wedding ring he gave me. 209 00:09:09,317 --> 00:09:11,729 - oh, and then if you slip it on 210 00:09:11,753 --> 00:09:13,431 And it feels right you know? 211 00:09:13,455 --> 00:09:16,100 - actually, I go more By how many karats 212 00:09:16,124 --> 00:09:18,591 Are bouncing light Back into my eyes. 213 00:09:20,462 --> 00:09:23,875 But I'm sure your Way would work too. 214 00:09:23,899 --> 00:09:26,878 - mel's not ready. 215 00:09:26,902 --> 00:09:28,245 We're here to stall. 216 00:09:28,269 --> 00:09:30,414 Would you like some wine? - uh, no. 217 00:09:30,438 --> 00:09:32,583 Actually what I could Use is some advice. 218 00:09:32,607 --> 00:09:34,084 - hm, again with the advice. 219 00:09:34,108 --> 00:09:36,887 - oh, just embrace it. 220 00:09:36,911 --> 00:09:38,556 - kim and I are getting Back together, 221 00:09:38,580 --> 00:09:39,924 And I'm flying Back to l.A. Today, 222 00:09:39,948 --> 00:09:42,260 And I don't know How to tell melanie. 223 00:09:42,284 --> 00:09:44,651 Both: ah. 224 00:09:48,190 --> 00:09:50,767 - I've never kneed a man In his manhood before. 225 00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:52,236 I could get used to it. 226 00:09:52,260 --> 00:09:55,706 - listen... - what did we say about talking? 227 00:09:55,730 --> 00:09:58,676 Now I have pointy knees too. 228 00:09:58,700 --> 00:10:00,044 - listen, I've come Up with a plan, 229 00:10:00,068 --> 00:10:01,312 But I'm gonna need your help. 230 00:10:01,336 --> 00:10:02,713 - I have told you before, 231 00:10:02,737 --> 00:10:06,150 I am far too recognizable To help you hide a dead body. 232 00:10:06,174 --> 00:10:07,985 What? Both: sh! 233 00:10:08,009 --> 00:10:10,588 - we are not gonna let Him hurt melanie again. 234 00:10:10,612 --> 00:10:13,156 Because this time you're Gonna let her break up with you. 235 00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:15,059 - no, but she doesn't Wanna break up with him. 236 00:10:15,083 --> 00:10:16,526 - she will when We're done with her. 237 00:10:16,550 --> 00:10:18,196 And you better act sad. 238 00:10:18,220 --> 00:10:20,130 In fact, you better cry. 239 00:10:20,154 --> 00:10:23,134 Or I'll give you Something to cry about. 240 00:10:23,158 --> 00:10:25,002 - I'm good. 241 00:10:25,026 --> 00:10:27,226 - just wait for my signal. 242 00:10:30,398 --> 00:10:31,975 - oh, I thought I heard voices, 243 00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:33,444 Is anders here? - no, it wasn't him. 244 00:10:33,468 --> 00:10:37,248 Child collecting Money, some tragedy. 245 00:10:37,272 --> 00:10:39,450 Oh, god, you actually Put on the ring? 246 00:10:39,474 --> 00:10:41,619 - yeah, I did, and Now I can't get it off. 247 00:10:41,643 --> 00:10:42,986 Maybe it's a sign. 248 00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:44,788 - it is. 249 00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:48,926 A sign that anders is the Devil and should burn in hell. 250 00:10:48,950 --> 00:10:50,628 - what happened to Neutral girlfriends? 251 00:10:50,652 --> 00:10:53,397 - well, we decided that we Owe you better than that. 252 00:10:53,421 --> 00:10:56,922 The neutral is the one Color that I cannot play. 253 00:10:58,426 --> 00:11:00,638 - you don't need anders anymore. 254 00:11:00,662 --> 00:11:02,439 The old melanie May have needed him, 255 00:11:02,463 --> 00:11:05,776 But the new melanie is fabulous, Confident, and independent. 256 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,611 - I have changed. - yes. 257 00:11:07,635 --> 00:11:09,880 What hasn't changed is anders. 258 00:11:09,904 --> 00:11:11,148 Now he cheated on you, 259 00:11:11,172 --> 00:11:12,816 And now he's cheating On kim with you. 260 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:16,821 The new melanie deserves Far better than the old anders. 261 00:11:16,845 --> 00:11:19,423 - ooh, that's good. - thank you. 262 00:11:19,447 --> 00:11:21,091 - I mean she's right. 263 00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:23,160 - I didn't think of it that way. 264 00:11:23,184 --> 00:11:25,095 He is still cheating, isn't he? 265 00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:27,831 He hasn't changed at All, but I have changed. 266 00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:30,634 - we just said that. - shut up. 267 00:11:30,658 --> 00:11:32,035 So whenever he gets here... 268 00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:34,938 By the way, what kind of A guy keeps you waiting? 269 00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:36,807 You know what you Have to do, right? 270 00:11:36,831 --> 00:11:40,077 - yeah, I guess. 271 00:11:40,101 --> 00:11:43,013 I do wanna move Forward, not backward. 272 00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:47,752 - ah! Perfect timing. 273 00:11:47,776 --> 00:11:50,954 - okay, now stay strong And stick to your guns. 274 00:11:50,978 --> 00:11:52,323 - this is gonna be really hard. 275 00:11:52,347 --> 00:11:54,791 - or incredibly easy. 276 00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:58,729 Who can say? - ah. 277 00:11:58,753 --> 00:12:00,231 - good-bye, anders. 278 00:12:00,255 --> 00:12:04,602 I really do think this is The best for both of us. 279 00:12:04,626 --> 00:12:05,969 Oh... 280 00:12:05,993 --> 00:12:08,605 You really do look like You're in a lot of pain. 281 00:12:08,629 --> 00:12:11,375 - I can honestly say I am. 282 00:12:11,399 --> 00:12:14,077 - what's happening now? 283 00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:15,813 - she's making some sappy speech 284 00:12:15,837 --> 00:12:18,783 And he's overplaying like crazy. 285 00:12:18,807 --> 00:12:23,354 it's like one of those Warm moments on glee. 286 00:12:23,378 --> 00:12:24,789 - she's coming! 287 00:12:24,813 --> 00:12:27,747 - act natural. 288 00:12:33,888 --> 00:12:35,565 - well, I feel terrible. 289 00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:36,600 He was crushed. 290 00:12:36,624 --> 00:12:38,569 - well, better him than you. 291 00:12:38,593 --> 00:12:40,538 So... Who's up for mojitos? 292 00:12:40,562 --> 00:12:41,906 - ah. 293 00:12:41,930 --> 00:12:43,273 - guys, I know You don't like him, 294 00:12:43,297 --> 00:12:46,076 But he was really Sincere this time. 295 00:12:46,100 --> 00:12:47,344 I mean, he cried. 296 00:12:47,368 --> 00:12:48,879 I have never seen Him cry before. 297 00:12:48,903 --> 00:12:51,248 Maybe he has changed. 298 00:12:51,272 --> 00:12:53,184 Maybe he's new anders, 299 00:12:53,208 --> 00:12:54,852 And new melanie just Made a big mistake. 300 00:12:54,876 --> 00:12:56,920 - noo. No, no, no, no mistake. 301 00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:58,822 New melanie, good. 302 00:12:58,846 --> 00:13:02,092 - maybe this is like those Movies that I love so much. 303 00:13:02,116 --> 00:13:03,560 And this would be the scene 304 00:13:03,584 --> 00:13:04,862 Where I chase him to the airport 305 00:13:04,886 --> 00:13:06,096 And I catch him at The very last minute. 306 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:07,831 - those movies are stupid. 307 00:13:07,855 --> 00:13:09,433 I mean, by the time you Park, get the shuttle, 308 00:13:09,457 --> 00:13:11,617 All that running... They're just stupid, okay? 309 00:13:13,494 --> 00:13:14,772 - what if he's so Happy to see me 310 00:13:14,796 --> 00:13:17,041 He just lifts me up in his arms. 311 00:13:17,065 --> 00:13:19,076 Oh, it'd be so romantic. 312 00:13:19,100 --> 00:13:20,945 I'm going. 313 00:13:20,969 --> 00:13:22,168 - melanie, stop. 314 00:13:24,238 --> 00:13:27,284 Anders and kim Got back together. 315 00:13:27,308 --> 00:13:29,119 - what? 316 00:13:29,143 --> 00:13:30,421 - he didn't know How to tell you, 317 00:13:30,445 --> 00:13:31,889 So we made him promise 318 00:13:31,913 --> 00:13:33,457 To let you break Up with him this time. 319 00:13:33,481 --> 00:13:34,758 So you wouldn't get hurt again. 320 00:13:34,782 --> 00:13:38,061 Are you kidding me? 321 00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:39,863 How could you Guys do this to me? 322 00:13:39,887 --> 00:13:43,767 - it was all joy's idea. 323 00:13:43,791 --> 00:13:45,168 I just got swept up. 324 00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:50,807 You and I were both innocent Pawns in her little game. 325 00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:52,075 - where are you going? 326 00:13:52,099 --> 00:13:54,478 - to catch him before He gets on that plane! 327 00:13:54,502 --> 00:13:57,815 - should we have gone after her? 328 00:13:57,839 --> 00:14:00,751 - no. You know how These movies work. 329 00:14:00,775 --> 00:14:02,720 The well-meaning best Friends don't show up again 330 00:14:02,744 --> 00:14:04,088 Until she marries the right guy, 331 00:14:04,112 --> 00:14:06,624 And that's way, way, way At the end of the thing. 332 00:14:06,648 --> 00:14:08,258 One of us winds up dancing with 333 00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:09,626 The bride's randy grandfather, 334 00:14:09,650 --> 00:14:12,096 And the other one hooks up With the handsome cater waiter. 335 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:15,365 - I call the cater waiter. - fine. 336 00:14:15,389 --> 00:14:17,467 Oh, did I mention that The randy grandfather 337 00:14:17,491 --> 00:14:21,104 Is a billionaire? 338 00:14:21,128 --> 00:14:22,439 - fine. 339 00:14:22,463 --> 00:14:25,309 Did I mention the cater Waiter's a secret prince? 340 00:14:25,333 --> 00:14:27,344 - and did I mention That the grandfather 341 00:14:27,368 --> 00:14:29,902 Is aging backwards, Like brad pitt. 342 00:14:39,748 --> 00:14:41,626 - ooh, anders! 343 00:14:41,650 --> 00:14:44,027 Anders, anders! 344 00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:46,130 - ticketed passengers Only, ma'am. 345 00:14:46,154 --> 00:14:47,598 - oh, I know, but that man In the blue shirt and khakis, 346 00:14:47,622 --> 00:14:48,799 I gotta get him back. 347 00:14:48,823 --> 00:14:50,568 See, I listened To my girlfriends, 348 00:14:50,592 --> 00:14:52,269 And I shouldn't have. So now I just have to make it right 349 00:14:52,293 --> 00:14:54,004 Before he gets on That plane, please. 350 00:14:54,028 --> 00:14:55,973 - wow. This is just Like the last scene 351 00:14:55,997 --> 00:14:58,275 In all of those Romantic comedies. 352 00:14:58,299 --> 00:15:01,879 - yeah, where time Is of the essence. 353 00:15:01,903 --> 00:15:03,381 - jennifer, there's A guy wearing 354 00:15:03,405 --> 00:15:05,383 A blue shirt and Khakis headed your way, 355 00:15:05,407 --> 00:15:08,152 Could you send him back please? 356 00:15:08,176 --> 00:15:09,586 - thank you. Thank you so much. 357 00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:11,688 I just need one more Chance to tell him how I feel. 358 00:15:11,712 --> 00:15:12,923 - so let me guess. 359 00:15:12,947 --> 00:15:14,992 You worked with him, But you never saw him 360 00:15:15,016 --> 00:15:16,260 As the kind of guy You would go out with. 361 00:15:16,284 --> 00:15:18,495 Or... Or you were Complete opposites, 362 00:15:18,519 --> 00:15:21,531 Until the stuck-up rich guy You were about to marry... 363 00:15:21,555 --> 00:15:23,734 - melanie... 364 00:15:23,758 --> 00:15:25,302 What's going on? 365 00:15:25,326 --> 00:15:29,006 - anders, joy and victoria Told me everything. 366 00:15:29,030 --> 00:15:30,975 But before you Get on that airplane 367 00:15:30,999 --> 00:15:32,999 I really need to Tell you how I feel. 368 00:15:36,571 --> 00:15:39,050 You are the biggest. 369 00:15:39,074 --> 00:15:42,053 You cheated on me While we were married, 370 00:15:42,077 --> 00:15:45,156 And then you used me To cheat on your fiance 371 00:15:45,180 --> 00:15:47,257 Because you don't Know what the you want? 372 00:15:47,281 --> 00:15:49,827 You are a selfish! 373 00:15:49,851 --> 00:15:51,328 Who doesn't think about Anybody else but himself, 374 00:15:51,352 --> 00:15:54,854 So you know what, you Can just go yourself! 375 00:15:56,691 --> 00:16:00,838 - really saw that Going another way. 376 00:16:00,862 --> 00:16:02,428 - ooh, puppy tails! 377 00:16:09,271 --> 00:16:11,716 - oh, hello there, max. 378 00:16:11,740 --> 00:16:12,950 - is elka here? 379 00:16:12,974 --> 00:16:16,354 She isn't returning my tweets. 380 00:16:16,378 --> 00:16:18,121 - come in. 381 00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:20,223 - hello, 382 00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:23,293 I'm looking for a little Bit of heaven in a track suit. 383 00:16:23,317 --> 00:16:24,795 - ah. 384 00:16:24,819 --> 00:16:26,986 - she should be around Here somewhere. 385 00:16:30,792 --> 00:16:32,036 - what are you doing here? 386 00:16:32,060 --> 00:16:33,471 - what am I doing here? 387 00:16:33,495 --> 00:16:35,005 I came to see my girl. 388 00:16:35,029 --> 00:16:37,307 - your girl? 389 00:16:37,331 --> 00:16:39,243 - oh, elka... 390 00:16:39,267 --> 00:16:41,301 You have company. 391 00:16:48,276 --> 00:16:52,256 - nick, max, what a Colorful surprise. 392 00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:54,358 I told you I wasn't Going to the luau. 393 00:16:54,382 --> 00:16:56,761 - you've been cheating On me with this putz? 394 00:16:56,785 --> 00:17:02,066 - putz? What the heart Wants the heart gets, cue ball. 395 00:17:02,090 --> 00:17:03,700 - it was one polka. 396 00:17:03,724 --> 00:17:05,937 It was just physical, It didn't mean anything. 397 00:17:05,961 --> 00:17:07,137 - whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 398 00:17:07,161 --> 00:17:09,006 You have to admit what We have between us 399 00:17:09,030 --> 00:17:11,008 Is raw and powerful. 400 00:17:11,032 --> 00:17:14,878 - I'll introduce you To raw and powerful. 401 00:17:14,902 --> 00:17:17,347 Put 'em up, if you Can still get them up. 402 00:17:17,371 --> 00:17:18,716 - really, huh? - come on. 403 00:17:18,740 --> 00:17:20,083 - when I get through with you, 404 00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:22,519 You're gonna be eating your Bran muffin through a straw. 405 00:17:22,543 --> 00:17:24,322 - please, please... 406 00:17:24,346 --> 00:17:27,557 Fighting isn't gonna Help elka make up her mind. 407 00:17:27,581 --> 00:17:29,215 - sure it is. 408 00:17:35,156 --> 00:17:36,300 - hey! 409 00:17:36,324 --> 00:17:38,102 What's going on in here? 410 00:17:38,126 --> 00:17:39,303 - they're fighting over elka. 411 00:17:39,327 --> 00:17:40,371 - oh! 412 00:17:40,395 --> 00:17:41,905 - so what happened with anders? 413 00:17:41,929 --> 00:17:43,140 - ah, it was wonderful. 414 00:17:43,164 --> 00:17:45,943 The old melanie, she Was too nice to let it out. 415 00:17:45,967 --> 00:17:48,980 But the new Melanie, she let it fly. 416 00:17:49,004 --> 00:17:51,382 I dropped the F-bomb, like, 15 times. 417 00:17:51,406 --> 00:17:53,317 I could not be more proud. 418 00:17:53,341 --> 00:17:55,218 - so what did you say. - oh, you wouldn't believe it. 419 00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:56,620 The security guard was there, 420 00:17:58,913 --> 00:18:00,691 - take the hen party outside, 421 00:18:00,715 --> 00:18:03,060 You're ruining my fight. 422 00:18:03,084 --> 00:18:05,663 Come on, guys. Mix it up. 423 00:18:05,687 --> 00:18:08,633 - no, I don't wanna Win you in a fight. 424 00:18:08,657 --> 00:18:10,400 You know I want you. 425 00:18:10,424 --> 00:18:11,802 If you wanna be With this shrimp, 426 00:18:11,826 --> 00:18:15,906 So be it. I just want You to be happy. 427 00:18:15,930 --> 00:18:19,343 - oh, max, that's so you. 428 00:18:19,367 --> 00:18:20,911 And I love that. 429 00:18:20,935 --> 00:18:23,847 - you do? - of course. 430 00:18:23,871 --> 00:18:27,151 That's why I'm your Girl, and always will be. 431 00:18:27,175 --> 00:18:30,221 I'm sorry, nick. - yeah, yeah. 432 00:18:30,245 --> 00:18:32,122 That's all right, I Gave it my best shot. 433 00:18:32,146 --> 00:18:36,160 - who can blame you? 434 00:18:36,184 --> 00:18:39,230 - you know, there'll be A whole sea of blue hair 435 00:18:39,254 --> 00:18:41,165 At the luau tonight. 436 00:18:41,189 --> 00:18:43,534 How about you Just go and dive in? 437 00:18:45,459 --> 00:18:47,337 - uh-oh. 438 00:18:47,361 --> 00:18:50,941 Oh, I'm sorry, I was Just picturing it. 439 00:18:50,965 --> 00:18:53,076 Hi, evelyn. Love your shirt. 440 00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:55,768 Those coconuts real? 441 00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:01,417 - excuse me. 442 00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:03,153 Can I get a stick Of butter, please? 443 00:19:03,177 --> 00:19:06,790 - I know you're upset, But let's not go crazy. 444 00:19:06,814 --> 00:19:08,858 - I'm not gonna eat it, I Can't get this ring off. 445 00:19:08,882 --> 00:19:10,726 - well, I'm glad you Told anders off. 446 00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,595 And I hope this cures You of your belief 447 00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:14,619 In all that romantic Comedy nonsense. 448 00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:22,939 - I hear music swelling. 449 00:19:22,963 --> 00:19:26,242 Hi. 450 00:19:26,266 --> 00:19:27,644 - is this your wedding ring? 451 00:19:27,668 --> 00:19:29,379 - well, it was. 452 00:19:29,403 --> 00:19:30,814 - so it's mine now? 453 00:19:30,838 --> 00:19:33,550 No, it's complicated. 454 00:19:33,574 --> 00:19:35,084 - well, how about I buy you a drink 455 00:19:35,108 --> 00:19:36,086 And you explain it to me? 456 00:19:36,110 --> 00:19:37,687 - I'd like that. 457 00:19:37,711 --> 00:19:39,188 I'm melanie. 458 00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:41,012 - nice to meet you, melanie. 459 00:19:42,216 --> 00:19:44,327 I'm pete. 460 00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:46,351 Nice to meet you, pete. 461 00:19:49,456 --> 00:19:50,800 - what are you doing? 462 00:19:50,824 --> 00:19:52,435 - hey, she caught One by accident, 463 00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:53,959 Imagine if we aimed? 464 00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:03,479 - unbelievable. 465 00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:08,651 - shut up, I hear Music swelling. 466 00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:10,821 - here's your butter. 467 00:20:10,845 --> 00:20:13,589 Enjoy. 468 00:20:15,782 --> 00:20:18,716 Oh, what the hell. 469 00:20:25,659 --> 00:20:28,660 - desperate much?